Sunday, September 23, 2012
Let's be honest, I had nothing to do tonight so I browsed through my Tumblr archives, tagged Facebook photos, and old photobucket to bring you this lengthy scroll of fashion flashback. None of these photos were ever uploaded to Lookbook or this fashion blog, so I also wanted to get some of my older fashion related photos together in one place.
I've been fashion obsessed since I was a little girl, scribbling my own designs and having my older sisters help me sew gowns for my dolls. One particular memory that sticks out to me is when I was about 12 years old my sisters and I went to visit our cousin, Devin. She was in her early twenties at the time and I admired the hell out of her because she was so trendy. She bought me a silky lime green purse and a fur trimmed coat and I treasured those things for years. While we were visiting Devin got us all tickets to see The Ryan Seacrest Show live (back when it still existed!). However, you had to be 16 or older to get in. So, I stuffed my shirt with my cousins socks and donned a pair of her heels to look older, and the bouncer let me in because she said she'd never seen a kid work a par of heels so well. I still remember exactly what I was wearing, a green shirt with a matching green striped asymmetrical skirt with clear lucite cut out wedges. I remember only because the woman standing behind me in line called me a fashionista, and I'll never forget it because she was the first person who ever told me that. I went to a private elementary school where we had to wear uniforms, so personal style honestly wasn't a concept that occurred to me until I got to choose my own clothes in middle school.
I dressed really preppy and girly at first, like my friends, until I took notice of my older sister, Mandy. She had the coolest style. My sisters and I are all natural blondes, and we all dressed the same growing up, I got their hand-me-downs. But in high school Mandy cut off all of her blonde hair, dyed it jet black, and swapped her preppy clothes for band tees and converse. I had always loved fashion before and kept style notebooks and read Vogue more religiously than I do now, but I was always too nervous to dress differently than my peers. But Mandy was unique, and it was so effortless for her. I was absolutely mesmerized by the way my sister could put an outfit together and always look so damn good. (I can never get her to post anymore, but check out her Lookbook here. Mandy has always been my #1 supporter of all things fashion from the very beginning, she still comments on every blog post and Lookbook post I make, without fail, and she's taken the majority of my outfit pictures. I'm so lucky to have her, she's my ultimate inspiration.) So I started borrowing her clothes on the weekends and tagging along on her shopping trips, building a new wardrobe and experimenting with my own style outside of school without feeling judged. I slowly integrated my new style, first by simply swapping out my flip flops for sleek flats, then painting my nails black instead of pink, then swapping flares for skinny jeans. I always hear people say they can't pull something off, and I've always thought that was bullshit. "Pulling something off" is just a matter of having guts, and though I'm ashamed now that I was ever concerned about what my classmates thought of my style I can't deny that I was worried about their opinion, so I progressed my clothing in baby steps. The summer after my sophomore year was a defining one in my personal life, after some intense family struggle we came into a new beginning and it was a summer of self-discovery after turning sixteen. I changed schools and that meant a fresh slate.
My style during my Junior year of highschool was very sophisticated. My outfit was almost always a high-waisted skirt, some sort of top, usually a silk tank, a cardigan, lots and lots of necklaces, tights, and flats. I wasn't comfortable with my curves at all, in fact I was embarrassed by my big boobs and hips, so I hid them under layers. I just loved to be dressed up, and I was always asked what the special occasion was which had always annoyed the hell out of me, the occasion was because I fucking felt like it.
My senior year my style relaxed a bit, I still wore my skirts and tights but my tights become shredded and I traded flowing floral skirts for tight and studded. I tried out some more daring styles. I remember wearing a romper early in 2009 and someone asked me why I was wearing a jumpsuit. I was really into vintage rock t-shirts, and was often in my Ramones t-shirt of vintage shirts I took from my Dad. I was also known for my shoes always being untied. I also started my Lookbook that year.
My style unhinged before my freshman year of college. I got my most beloved pair of shoes, my Doc Martens and I ripped apart nearly everything I owned because I LOVED grunge. I bleached my hair and pierced my nose. I loved looking like a tough guy, I loved anything black and I loved combat boots, I mean I really fucking loved combat boots. I would wear my clothes out until they were filthy and I kept my hair messy. I liked everything oversized.
After moving out of my dorm I moved into my first house out on my own. Soon after moving in I turned 19 and I just felt more grown up and decided I wanted to start wearing high heels every day. And I did. I also had a pretty serious scarf obsession for awhile there. For the first time in my life I wasn't insecure or ashamed of my body, I loved it actually. I went through a time where I was really focused on positive body image, and I spent my time talking to people who's confidence inspired me, like my mom and my roommate. I finally learned how to fully embrace who I am and look past my imperfections. It was during this time that I started wearing more revealing and form fitting clothing, I didn't want to hide my body anymore.
After moving from Pueblo back to my hometown of Aurora my style became a jumble of all of my fashion phases I had gone through. I started making my own clothes and experimenting with mixing more eccentric pieces. I read books about vintage clothing and learned how to eye nice pieces in secondhand shops, adding more vintage clothing to my wardrobe really expanded my style. Now, I'll wear anything. I don't identify with a single style niche and I'll shop in any store. I'll wear barely there clothing or a maxi dress. I just don't give a single fuck anymore and I purely dress for me. I still love dressing up and the majority of the time I'm in heels, especially if I'm going to work or doing anything social. But when I'm not dressed up then I'm dressed down in combat boots and ripped clothing, there is no middle ground for me. I've noticed that if I'm just running around by myself or on my day off then I'm usually dressed like a complete hoodlum. I've never been a jeans and a t-shirt kind of girl, that combination has never suited me. I only own one pair of converse sneakers that I've had since I was 14 and they're covered in paint. Besides that I've never been a sneaker person, never wore Vans or Toms or anything or that nature. I've never been big on hoodies or backpacks. I have nothing against them, but those are just trends that I've never been in tune with, even in my preppy days. I also am not a fan of sunglasses, I only have one pair I like. I also hate earrings, I avoid them when I can. My go-to comfort wear is usually an off the shoulder sweater, leggings, and boots.
That's pretty the breakdown of my personal style, I suppose. I've had my Lookbook for over 2 years but didn't post any of my old looks here since I have them there! It's fun to see how my style's evolved and I'm excited to see where my fashion will go next. I don't always get outfits right, trust me I know better than anyone else some of the hideous outfits I've walked out of my house in. But that's the fun of it, experimenting with different pieces to see what works and what doesn't. I hope my style transitions into something more off beat and unexpected. I hope to incorporate more daring pieces instead of the traditional black and white options I usually opt for. I'd also love to build my vintage collection and maybe one day even own some designer labels. I'm currently obsessed with leather and tailored suits and dark lipstick and platform shoes and anything 70's/ It's corny, but fashion is my number one passion and it's one of the most important aspects in my life that I hope never fades.
Sorry this post was actually a novel! I also tried to resize all of these photos so they would line up evenly but I obviously fucked it up somehow and it'd take too much time to resize them now so I apologize for the huge differences in size from photo to photo.